Kim Kardassian Is Mostly Natural

The makers of Botox aren’t going to be happy when they find out that Kim Kardashian admits to using their shit. That’s not an endorsement you want seeing as though Kim looks like a creature in an M. Night Shyamalan movie.

Kim Kardassian is still farting about how she’s never been under a plastic surgeon’s scalpel, but she does that admit that in addition to being full of shit and NFL sperm, she’s also full of Botox. Kim tells Nightline, “I’m totally not against plastic surgery. I’ve tried Botox before. That’s the only thing that I’ve done. I’ve never had my nose done. What’s funny about my nose, it’s my biggest insecurity. I always want to get my nose done . . . I went to the doctor, I had them take the pictures, he showed me what it would look like and it just didn’t — I wouldn’t look the same.”

This Close Encounters of the Third Kind-looking bitch is serious. Kim really wants us to believe that Botox is the reason why she looks like she’s about to jump out of a bitch’s stomach and sing “Hello Mah Baby” while kicking across a diner counter. If Kim wants a face that only L. Ron Hubbard could love, then that’s fine but she doesn’t have to spit lies. Alien, please.

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